I m staying with friends and at 5 15am we get the notification to evacuate our area We aren t in the thick of the California fires but we are close enough that if the storm winds keep blowing it will be easy to get caught The air is thick and it s difficult to breathe My heart and center can t seem to settle My friends nearby are losing their homes and their land their favorite restaurants and their this week plans We leave the area I tell myself we re leaving the area but my sweatshirt already smells like smoke I hold my hand on the dogs and even though we need this we still stay confused Now we re near Disneyland and I m surrounded by children in Micky Mouse hats and parents with Starbucks cups Everyone s stomach is churning it is a strange scary stomach bound sacral a can t swallow the spooky sky