You and your wife have been in couples therapy-fantasy and she is very concerned about you She told me that you have an extremely terrible masturbation habit She asked how I could help so I told her that we would be scheduling private one on one sessions to help you with your issues at hand Little does she know I think your habit is not only healthy but necessary Little does she know that I am the leader of a goon cult recruiting new members This session is only the beginning of the end of your marriage I am about to ruin you just for me